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Try to not sleep with them in the first week or two. Go out on a few dates with them first. Ask them informative questions to really get to know them, almost like a serious job interview.

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You want to figure out early on if this is the type of person you want to invest time and energy in. You have to decide if the red flags are bad enough to be a deal breaker or lead to an inevitable breakup down the line.

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If you get to the point where you're unsure about them, give them one more date. If you start having feelings, reign them in. Wait for her to start showing signs of reciprication and slowly ease your feelings out into the open, do not overdo it. Here's how my first dates usually go: The night usually ends at my place or hers, with no established intention of what happens next.

I go in for the kiss, and then the clothes start coming off. By that point it's either sex and then sleep, or if I'm too tired, sleep with each other naked and we have sex in the morning. It's usually a fun time, but the aftermath never seems to lead to anything long term. Now for one of the girls in talking to now, I'm trying to deliberately go more slowly, hanging out more as friends before attempting something more serious.

I'm trying to practice a "light touch" similar to what you said , but I'm worried that it's killing the moment. I want to get better at simply getting to know the girl first, but I keep feeling like I'm inadvertently sending her straight into friend territory.

1. Express How You’re Feeling

Timing is important too. You know those pauses, those " What's next? If you're not fooling around, but it's clear where the nights headed when you're at home with them , seal it with a good kiss and simply say it "I'm having a blast and want to keep getting to know you, I think we shouldn't go much further tonight. A couple of times I've been really into a girl and we've been fooling around pretty seriously that night and I just Then you do what you did the night before that got you there, but just on another night.

Another date night, another night of interacting. Do something different than before, but otherwise keep getting to know her. You had a connection, explore it. You should have more to talk about, more to explore and learn about her. She's not going anywhere if she's interested; you've made it clear you're equally interested and want to see how things develop. If she is going somewhere Well why would you bother with her to begin with? Yep, I'm going to have to remember to try this next time and not get so caught up in the moment. Woman here. I think one of the easiest ways to keep hanging out without sex but to build a romantic attraction is, you know, flirting and intimate conversation.

And making out never hurt either, ;. Taking it slow is basically choosing to be friends and hanging out to see if you eventually develop romantic feelings. It is much easier to just date. The best way to approach dating is as if they were lighthearted interviews with a clear goal: Go over children and career goals while at the same time getting a feel for their personality and sense of humor.

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Once you determine that you are reasonably compatible, be it the first date or fifth, sex is on the table. Yeah, try becoming friends with them first before you have sex. The best relationships are built upon friendships in my opinion, not the friendzone type of friendship, but the "I feel like such close friends with you that I want to touch and be close to you" type of friendship. In general, I try not to get too excited about things.

Not because I think I'll push a girl away or whatever, but because if I get manic, then I'm gonna hit a low point sooner than later. Much better to try to stay even at all times. Taking things slow is just part of that for me. Learning patience. This is the logic women use. It doesn't make sense when they say it, and it doesn't make sense when you say it. Don't get me wrong But that isn't going to make you appear more noble or better boyfriend material.

Relationships are spontaneous, if you want a relationship to last it must be based on lust for the other, figure out the rest ASAP and if shes not compatible she's out the door. If she is then obviously you'll keep her around. Eventually you run out of secrets and stories to tell, it must be lust for your SO that keeps the fire alight while compatible personalities become the roof that stops the rain. You have to make her chase you and feel like shes won you over.

My girlfriend loves me precisely because of this, she noticed i was flirting with 2 of her friends when i first met her. Its not about taking it slow, but mostly about keeping it casual and delaying the formation of the relationship until she's tried her hardest to win you over. If you can have her over as much as possible it helps too, living together can bond you together or break you apart so getting this out of the way is crucial. Besides, how could you hate her waking you up with a nice hot breakfast? A lot of guys on here also can't get a girl to fuck as often as we do.


12 Gay Dating Lessons I Wish I Knew in My 20’s

Women are like water, they fit the shape of the container you put them in. Be dominant over her and refuse to take bullshit and she will do whatever she can to please you. It is in her pleasing you and in your satisfying her via domination that allows the strongest bond to form. You can google "gender norms make couples happier" and find myriads of studies that confirm this.

The Dating Den - How to Take a Relationship Slowly and Why It's a Good Thing!

Did the guy flake out on that first date? Does he want to meet at a bar? Is he into partying? If those things are not cool with you, it is OK with not taking things further. There is a reason you have an intuition. And here is a secret — having boundaries can be sexy and by extension, a sense of self-confidence. Dating really is a process that has a lot to do with numbers. In other words, the more dates you go on, the more opportunities you expose yourself to. As part of my own dating experiences, I went through a period where I got confused with dating and hookups.

Sad to say but I probably ruined a lot of good opportunities by thinking I had to make sexual contact with a person in order for them to like me.

Gay Relationship Mistakes All Couples Should Avoid | HuffPost

At some point, I realized there really is a difference between a first date and a random hookup. The point here is simply to say hold off on anything physically intimate until a few dates have happened. There are going to be guys who simply drop off the face of the earth — even after you have dated them a few times. There are a lot of flakes out there that for whatever reason get their jollies off toying with the emotions of others. Nobody should think less of you if you decide to just have one glass of wine or one beer.

If someone does judge you, do you really want to be associated with them? Bars are sometimes a fun place to hang with friends and potentially meet someone. On a related note, aps can sometimes be cool too — unless you meet a freak. The point here is to not confine yourself to nightclubs or dating aps when it comes to meeting people for potential dates.


You might be surprised at the places where the guy you have been waiting to meet might pop up. In an age where marriage has become a reality for us gays, it opens up lots of possibilities. It can also cause pressure to feel like you have to find someone fast.

And I hate to say this but that pressure only intensifies the older you get. But remember, marriage is a commitment that is multi-factorial in nature with a major emphasis on legal and financial issues. This is why it is important to take things slowly with a guy who you think may be that special someone.

A major component of gay dating is having the confidence and faith in yourself that eventually, you will meet someone. If you are looking for other gay dating tips, a really good book you might want to pick up from Amazon is called: Gay Dating