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Some studies suggest that gay and straight men have similar age preferences when it comes to partners. With one important distinction: More masculine gay guys seem to prefer younger men, and those who identify as more femme desire older partners. A more recent study by Facebook, however, found that partners in both gay and lesbian couples tend to have much higher age gaps than their heterosexual counterparts. Different motivations propel younger gay men into these relationships as well. Isolated from peers and family who may not understand their sexuality, gay teens sometimes gravitate toward older men who have traveled the road before them and who could end up exploiting the vulnerability of their situation.

Not only do you face stereotypes about why you should have been able to fight it off, or how you probably loved it, but you also have to deal with how your own trauma connects to noxious gay-specific myths, like the one about a gay pro-pedophile organization called NAMBLA or North American Man Boy Love Association infiltrating everything from Disney programming to Antifa.

But the myth of gay men as predators persists. Case in point: In certain parts of the world, May-December romances among gay men are treated differently than straight ones by the courts.

Older men, younger boys

While the legal age of consent ranges from 16 to 18 across the U. In Chile, for example, the age of consent is 14 for heterosexuals and 18 for gays. And it took until the turn of the century for the U. The porn industry, meanwhile, has made the age differences of their stars a central taboo.

Dan Savage, the iconic gay sex columnist, has taken a practical view: That said, many gay men contine to view intergenerational romances with judgement and suspicion. David came out to WA State. I went to Elkhorn, WI. I moved to be with him March WE have gone through a lot together over the years.

Older men, younger boys | Savage Love | Creative Loafing Charlotte

He is not controlling, nor does he buy me things for sex. WE are not married but we have a very traditional marriage. He is the Husband even though he is retired and I work full time. He is also the Republican and I am Democrat in the Family. We are polar Opposites in many ways, yet we seem to work. I love him. Thank you for the column and the comments that followed.

I am soon to be Recently I reluctantly gave in to a 32 year old on a dating site and went on a date. Actually, he stopped in to meet me at my place on his way to visit his family over the holidays.


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While I am attracted to younger men and have dated them, I worry about the additional challenges besides just trying to survive society as a gay couple and believe a partner is a partner which includes financial responsibility. This young man, by means of his answers, convinced me that not only was he not seeking a Sugar Daddy, he took my barrage of questions as a sign that I was not the local perv and persisted his request to meet.

In addition, this young man had never been with a man sexually. Oh my goodness, the red flags are flying everywhere. Several of his interests actually align with my own liking hiking, camping and exploring the night sky. Only time will tell.

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That will be my focus and consider anything else that becomes of it, a bonus. The moral of my story, I guess is: I almost missed out on meeting an incredible person due to a silly self imposed age restricted guideline. Keep an open mind. Seek a friend first. Smile often and laugh more. It works!

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Ive stareted dating a man who is 20 years younger than me. He is 49 and I am He has an amazing career, owns his own home has bought a seaside cottage and is a mature man. I am 69 retired from my profession as an Architect and have been a full time Real Estate agent for two years as a second career. I own my own home and tcare of all my own finances and have an adult daughter who I love dearly and is on her own.


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My new relationship is touching me deeply and he is feeling the same. I am tired of hearing that I am too OLD. Why is there such ageism in the gay community? I am not dating a man in his 20s. I am dating a mature beautiful man who has carved out a life for himself. Whats going on? By the way my BFF is Is there something in that? Thank You. Your email address will not be published. Gay San Diego updated their cover photo. Now at your local news stand or visit us online at gay-sd.

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Meet Pete Buttigieg, the young, gay veteran and Midwest mayor who wants to take on Trump in 2020

Saturday, April 13, Home Columns. Here is that column. Have a great mentor in your lover and feel secure with them. Encourage them to stay active and healthy. Keep your peer group friendships. Give what you can financially to the relationship. Accept and even celebrate your differences.